The Four Pillars of a Man’s Heart - 2

1 Kings 2:1-3

Two weeks ago we began a look at the Four Pillars of a Man’s Heart.

           We are looking at what makes a man, masculine in God’s eyes.

                      At the specific roles that God created man for.

           God has called men to be leaders.

                      Leaders of their families, communities and world.

                      But we realized that before a man can lead others, he first has to lead himself.

                                 That is, he has to take time to develop his own relationship with God.

                                 He has to take time on a regular basis to recalibrate his own spiritual life.

                   Like it says of David in 1 Samuel 30:6, “But David found strength in the Lord his God.”

                   Men, to be effective leaders, we first have to find our strength in the Lord our God!

God has also called men to be warriors.

           We are to be the protectors of our families and communities.

                      We are to be on guard to protect them from anything or anyone that would harm them.

         And in particular we are to protect them spiritually.

As Peter tells us, “Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”

We must be proactive protectors, using all the weapons that God has made available to us for Satan wants to destroy our reputations, our marriages, our families, our children and our churches.

         And God has given us orders as to how to fight this war:

                      1. Spend regular time with Him in prayer.

                      2. Love your wives as Christ loves the church.

   3. Raise your children so they will know God’s Word and voice, and will follow Him in their lives.

                      4. Be actively involved in service in the church.

Those are the first two pillars of a Man’s Heart, now we will look at the next two:

3. MENTOR

In the book, “As Iron Sharpens Iron”, by Howard and Bill Hendricks, a definition of mentoring is given that sums up our call:

“a mentor is someone who functions to some extent as a father figure, a man who fundamentally affects and influences the development of another...mentors nurture our souls. They shape our character. They call us to be complete men, whole men, and by the grace of God, holy men.”

           We see this principle at work in the life of Paul and the young pastor Timothy.

Paul writes two letters to encourage, exhort, and instruct Timothy.

Weber writes, “The mentor in a man teaches life. Sometimes mentoring is spiritual. Sometimes it is mechanical. Sometimes it is intellectual, recreational, or technical. But at its heart...it is always transformational.”

Solomon, the wisest father ever to live, wrote this to his son: 1 My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, 2 for they will prolong your life many years and bring you prosperity. 3 Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. 4 Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man. (Proverbs 3:1-4)

 

Men are supposed to know things.

           We are supposed to know how life works.

                      We are called to pass on this knowledge to the generations to come.

                                 This knowledge imparts life and direction.

Gentleman, we have a responsibility to come alongside single mothers and help them bring their children up in the “training and admonition of the Lord.”

           We have young people who are quietly suffering for lack of mentors.

                      Will you answer the call of God to be a mentor,

                                 in the life of a young guy or girl within our church family?

4. FRIEND

In Genesis 2:18, God says something new, and negative, about his creation.

           He looks at the man and says: “It is not good for him to be alone.”

           God still says that today, as men are we listening?

As we have already seen, we were created to provide, protect, and teach.

           These three at least stir something within the masculine soul.

                      But the fourth is scary to us.

           Within the chest of every man there beats the heart of a friend.

                      We were created to connect, with other guys.

We are called to cultivate deep relationships with other guys, in order to grow in our relationship with God.

If this is true, then why do most men live in, what Stu Weber calls “rock-ribbed, self-sufficient isolation?”

One of the answers is fear.

                      Fear of being open with another guy.

Ken Druck writes of this need in “The Secrets Men Keep”:

“Once we open our world to another man, we learn that we are not alone is our fears, insecurities, uncertainties, and desires...Through friendship with another man, we affirm much of what is good and strong in us as men.”

Scripture gives us a great example of male friendship, in the relationship between Jonathan and David.

Jonathan was the heir to the throne but realized that God had rejected his father, Saul, and had chosen David instead.

                      Instead of being jealous, Jonathan chose to be a loyal friend to David.

In his book, “Locking Arms: God’s Design for Masculine Friendships,” Stu Weber proposes four “mileposts” of male friendships.

* Acceptance - we will choose to accept each other as we are, with no conditions.

Solomon wrote: “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” (Proverbs 17:17).

Paul encouraged the church at Rome, and us men today, to “accept one another as Christ as accepted you.” (Romans 15:7).

* Affirmation - we will commit to building each other up, through genuine expressions of interest and regular encouragement.

In a world that beats us down every day, wouldn’t it be nice to have a friend that intentionally encourages us.

The King James Version translates Proverbs 18:24 this way: “A man that hath friends must show himself friendly.”

* Accountability - We will regularly check in with one another, in key areas of our personal and spiritual growth.

Solomon knew the value of accountability: “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17)

* Authority - We will recognize, and if necessary remind one another, of God’s ultimate authority in our lives.

Proverbs 27:5-6 reminds us: “Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.”

                      Truth telling is indispensable in a friendship that under God’s authority.

As men, we are not meant to walk this path alone.

Ecclesiastes 4:10 says: “If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!” (Ecclesiastes 4:10).

Men, we need to be developing friendships with other men in the church.

                      Friendships that help us to grow in our walk with the Lord.

Our Ultimate Example - Jesus Christ

Inside the chest of every man beats the heart of a leader, warrior, mentor, and friend.

           We see this very clearly in the life of Jesus.

* Jesus was perhaps the greatest leader the world has ever known.

But he turned the idea of leadership on its head when he said: “You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Mark 10:42-45)

Whether washing his disciple’s feet, loving the unlovable, or dying on the cross, Jesus taught us how to be servant-leaders.

* Jesus Christ is the ultimate warrior.

Jesus took on our worst enemies, death and hell, and won: “When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross. And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.” (Colossians 2:13-15)

Although he was a warrior, he also spoke words of healing and life to hurting and lost people. Jesus taught us how to be a tender warrior.

* Jesus Christ provided us with a beautiful example of mentoring.

           He was the greatest small group leader ever.

                      He gathered twelve younger guys and for three years instructed, directed, and loved them.

While fishing, or walking down a dusty road, or sitting on a hill, Jesus was continually pouring into his disciples what they would need to carry on his mission on earth.

After washing his disciple’s feet, Jesus said: “I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.” (John 13:15-17)

* Jesus is the best friend you will ever have.

His promise to the disciples still stands today: “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20)

He said: “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command.” (John 15:13-14).

           That is exactly what he did for you and me.

He died on the cross, in our place, for our sins, so that we could go to heaven to be with him forever.

Romans 5:8 tells us: “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”