Attitude Is Everything

Attitude Is Everything!

We all have enjoyed the carefree and delightful times of our youth.

We remember the wonderful times we had when we first married.

The carefree evenings of laughter,

the wonderful romance,

the excitement of having our whole future in front of us.

All that prompts the question: why must that attitude stop?

Who says that marriage has to lose its youthful zest, joy and vitality?

No I’m not living a life of denial.

This body won’t last forever, it does get older and less capable in many ways everyday.

As Erma Bombeck once said: It’s a quick slide from bikins to estrogen.

For men, it hair that stops growing on the top, and begins to grow in the ears.

Gravity and age will eventually have its way with us.

Ackes, pains, sickness, injuries, and accidents will wear down the body.

So will the relentless challenges of everyday life, will wear down and age a marriage.

But is that necessary?

Is it inevitable?

NO!

What we are talking about is a perspective, an attitude, a frame of mind,

that sees life, not as something to be endured or survived, but lived!

You may be standing at the very threshold of a long future with your mate.

Or you may be a few miles down the road, with a few additions to the family.

Or you may have decades under your belt, with fewer years in front of your than behind you.

I want to talk, not so much about age this morning as about attitude.

Our attitude when we face problems and difficulties.

That quality that gives marriage its youthful spark.

No one can choose your attitude.

Only you can do that.

Keeping a youthful attitude will keep your marriage fun and exciting, at any age.

And I mean at any age.

Look at your attitude, do you like what you see?

Now much fun are you to live with?

Is it time for an attitude adjustment?

What would your spouse say about that?

Then what are you waiting for?

Get it done!

A Man With Attitude:

In the Old Testament we find a man with attitude, his name was Caleb.

I like Caleb, as he was the first real “mountain man!”

You will see why in a minute.

Caleb first appears alongside Joshua and ten other men.

The Israelites had selected 12 men, one from each tribe, to explore the promised land.

They were to search out the treasures and challenges of the land.

After nearly a month and a half, the group returned with a report.

Numbers 13:25-27 At the end of forty days they returned from exploring the land. 26 They came back to Moses and Aaron and the whole Israelite community at Kadesh in the Desert of Pay-run. There they reported to them and to the whole assembly and showed them the fruit of the land. 27 They gave Moses this account: "We went into the land to which you sent us, and it does flow with milk and honey! Here is its fruit.

Imagine the scene.

The nations leaders gather to hear what the men have to say.

The 12 arrive at the assembly, loaded down with grapes and pomegranates, and fantastic stories of how incredibly fruitful and diverse the land is.

It truly is a land that flows with milk and honey.

But listen carefully to what they say after that: But....

Man, don’t you hate that, it seems like there is always a “But” and it seldom indicates anything good.

Numbers 13:28 But the people who live there are powerful, and the cities are fortified and very large. We even saw descendants of Anak there.

The Anakim were enormous people.

Imagine facing an army of men the size of Shaquille O’Neal.

Seven foot tall and weighting over 300 pounds, and that all muscle.

To make matters worse these people had built huge cities with gagantic fortified walls.

And there were lots of them.

And in addition to the Anakim, there were the Amalekites, Jebusites, Hittites, and Armorities.

Each tribe as tough as junkyard dogs.

And these were advanced cultures, with sophisticated fighting skills and weapons.

It was at this point that Caleb stepped forward and speaks.

Listen to what he says: Numbers 13:30 Then Caleb silenced the people before Moses and said, “We should go up and take possession of the land, for we can certainly do it."

Caleb sure doesn’t beat around the bush, he simply says, lets go take the land!

But unfortunately, Caleb is in the minority.

Listen to what the other men say: Numbers 13:31-33 But the men who had gone up with him said, "We can't attack those people; they are stronger than we are." 32 And they spread among the Israelites a bad report about the land they had explored. They said, "The land we explored devours those living in it. All the people we saw there are of great size. 33 We saw the Nephilim there (the descendants of Anak come from the Nephilim). We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them."

We can imagine the conversation in the parking lot when the meeting was over:

Caleb, did you see the same thing the other men saw?

Yeah!

Do you realize how big those people are?

Yeah! But have you forgotten how big God is?

The other men looked at the obstacle and then looked at themselves.

Caleb looked at the same obstacles and then looked at God.

That’s why he said what he did in Numbers 14:7-9 :..."The land we passed through and explored is exceedingly good. 8 If the LORD is pleased with us, he will lead us into that land, a land flowing with milk and honey, and will give it to us. 9 Only do not rebel against the LORD. And do not be afraid of the people of the land, because we will swallow them up. Their protection is gone, but the LORD is with us. Do not be afraid of them."

I wish that I could say, that after Caleb’s speech, that all the people looked to God and found the strength and courage to be obedient to God and take the land.

But the very next verse states just the opposite: Numbers 14:10 But the whole assembly talked about stoning them...

It’s a sad fact that genuine faith in God will be met with hostility most of the time.

As a result of their disobedience, God declared that the whole nation would wander in the desert for 40 years, time enough for all the faithless to die off.

However, God promises that Caleb and Joshua would enter the land and claim their reward.

Now, lets fast forward about 45 years to Joshua 14.

A new generation is following Joshua, Moses successor, into the promised land, and are in the process of conquering it.

Now keep in mind what Caleb has endured over the last 45 years.

He has helped to dig the graves of his peers, funeral by funeral, watching them die off.

The numbers would have been in the hundreds of thousands.

Then after 45 years of faithfulness, he approached Joshua with the following words: Joshua 14:6-12 Now the men of Judah approached Joshua at Gilgal, and Caleb son of Jeff-funny the Ken-is-ite said to him, "You know what the LORD said to Moses the man of God at Kadesh Barnea about you and me. 7 I was forty years old when Moses the servant of the LORD sent me from Kadesh Barnea to explore the land. And I brought him back a report according to my convictions, 8 but my brothers who went up with me made the hearts of the people melt with fear. I, however, followed the LORD my God wholeheartedly. 9 So on that day Moses swore to me, 'The land on which your feet have walked will be your inheritance and that of your children forever, because you have followed the LORD my God wholeheartedly.' 10 "Now then, just as the LORD promised, he has kept me alive for forty-five years since the time he said this to Moses, while Israel moved about in the desert. So here I am today, eighty-five years old! 11 I am still as strong today as the day Moses sent me out; I'm just as vigorous to go out to battle now as I was then. 12 Now give me this hill country that the LORD promised me that day. You yourself heard then that the Anakites were there and their cities were large and fortified, but, the LORD helping me, I will drive them out just as he said."

You have got to love this guy!

This is no selfish, gimme-what’s-mine-or-else speech.

He didn’t expect public applause.

Best of all he wasn’t asking for his retirement home; he was anticipating a new challenge.

What an enthusiastic, positive attitude!

And remember, Caleb is now 85 years old.

Let’s look for a moment at some important qualities in Caleb that contributed to his attitude,

qualities we can make our own.

Gaining A Great Attitude:

An Unconditional Devotion to the Lord

No fewer than three times, we are told that Caleb followed the Lord fully.

Of all the great men and women in the Bible, Caleb is the only one about which it is said that “he followed the Lord God of Israel fully.”

The Lord was his helper, his strength, and the focus of his attention.

He didn’t worry about fighting giants, because God, not giants, occupied his thoughts.

Caleb was totally and completely devoted to God.

An Unwavering Belief in God’s Word

God had promised Israel the land of Canaan.

God had promised Caleb a particular portion of that land.

That’s all Caleb needed to know.

With his marching orders in hand, he courageously faced the giants and fortified cities of the land.

After all, they were just details that God would deal with.

Humility

Seeing the boldness of Caleb, we might think that this old man was rather full of himself.

But he wasn’t!

Caleb was a genuinely humble person.

Now remember, humility is not having a poor self-image.

Humility is regarding others as more important than self.

During the 40 years of wilderness wanderings, we see a number of power struggles.

We hear a lot of the grumbling, and we feel a growing spirit of resentment.

But none of this involves this strong, natural leader, Caleb.

Caleb lead his tribe, Judah, with quiet, contented submission to God’s chosen leader, Joshua.

What a remarkable team player.

An Exuberant Attitude of Enthusiasm

These three qualities also gave Caleb a forth quality:

an exuberant attitude of enthusiasm for taking on life.

In Joshua 14:12 we hear Caleb say: Now give me this hill country that the LORD promised me that day. You yourself heard then that the Anakites were there and their cities were large and fortified, but, the LORD helping me, I will drive them out just as he said."

This territory was rugged and would be hard to conquer,

Much of it literally being an uphill battle.

This would be without a doubt the most difficult territory to capture.

But it was also very prosperous.

As with most challenges, great reward requires great risk.

I think that Caleb used the word for mountain in a dual sense.

“Give me this hill country. Give me this challenge. I wasn’t afraid when I was 40, and I’m ready for this fight at 85! God was my God then, and He’s my God now. Let me at ‘em!”

Don’t you just love this guy! The original mountain man.

By the way, if you think he was a rickety old man, shaking his cane at the enemy while mumbling threats, you’re wrong.

He was fit because he never stopped living life.

Listen to what it says in Joshua 15:14-15: From Hebron Caleb drove out the three Anakites--She-shy, A-hi-man and Tal-my--descendants of Anak. 15 From there he marched against the people living in De-burr (formerly called Cure-E-ath See-far).

Caleb was ready to face his biggest challenges, when he was 85, because he didn’t back down at 40.

So what does all of this mean to us today?

Keep the Fire in Your Attitude:

I want to share with you five key statements, that I hope will encourage you in your marriage.

Wherever you are in your marriage, I hope these will light a fire under you and help erase from your life and marriage all those bad, negative attitudes.

I am convinced that the following statement will keep your marriage vibrant and fun.

Your mind never gets old - keep exercising it.

Yes, our bodies wear out, but seldom from using it too much.

And that’s especially true for your mental muscle, your mind.

Find time to talk with your mate about your ideas and thoughts.

Don’t talk so much about people, but talk about how you can serve God and others.

Spend time with other fully alive couples, whom you respect.